June 2011

"What is it?" I ask and dubiously poke at the pile of shells with a wooden skewer
"These are called Gong Gong" replies our host
"And those?" I point at another plate of shells on a waiter's tray
"La-La"
"I think you might be making these names up"
The Singaporeans collapse into fits of giggles while trying to protest that they are speaking the truth.
I stab my skewer into the shell and remove what my partner Toby quite aptly describes as a "booger on a stick".
"Try with chilli. It's good with chilli"
I hover my stick over the selection of approximately seven different chilli sauces laid out on the table before dunking in the one I feel looks the least fiery.
With one last look at the expectant faces around the table I deposit what can only be described as a burning lump of rubber onto my tongue. It's not so much the taste (salty and oceanic but mostly masked by the chilli) but rather the texture I'm not impressed with. I chew. And chew. And chew. The girls laugh at me some more.

Eating seems to be a major part of the Singaporean Pole culture. Every night after class (and some nights we finished well after 11pm) everyone (teachers, students, visiting Australians and a rogue magician) would head out on the town to find food. The weirder the better. We experienced a ange of delightful local cuisine including delicacies such as jellyfish, frogs legs, pigs intestines and gong-gong (Chinese snails).

Armed with only our camcorder, hotpants and a larger than necessary collection of stuffed animals, this was the first stop on our three month long pole adventure.

This video shows Part One of our video blog.

March 2011

It seemed a fairly innocuous Saturday night. Toby and I had performed our usual spots at El Circo, then done a double trapeze act for Black Cherry. We were just settling into some well-earned ice cream at a late night gelato joint on King Street when the phone rang. "Suzie we need you to come and do a show.... (static)... U2... (more static)... now".

Although it was after midnight, I was intrigued "I think we'd better go" I told Toby, "I think I get to go and perform for U2". Under my insistent urging we wolfed down the remainder of our desserts and headed into the city. I rifled through my costume bags from the evening's earlier performances and managed to cobble together a kind of glamorous "pole" outfit (6-inch leopard print heels and a black diamante body suit).

Parking mid city at 1am on a Saturday night is harder than you think. After dropping the car illegally in a nearby loading dock we made our way to a favourite performance space of mine (anywhere that has a pole descend hydraulically from the ceiling in order to embed itself in a marble "stage" is bound to be a "favourite performance space" of mine). We were ushered inside and our hostess briefed my on my show, "The guy who is having the Stag-Do is wearing a zebra print hat, are you able to get him up onstage with you and teach him some pole?"

"In the middle of my show??" I frowned at her
"Well, could you pay him some extra attention?"
"How about I just look at him a bit more than the others?"
She shrugged and left to go and lower the pole.

Toby glared at me. "Are you sure she said 'U2' on the phone? Are you sure it wasn't 'Stag-Do'?"

I stared back helplessly. Maybe I had heard wrong?

Toby took my iPod and playlist to the DJ and I began to get changed. Second later he came running back to me, eyes shining and a massive smile on his face "Oh my god, it's not only Bono... Guns N' Roses are here too!" My heart leapt. This was undeniably the most illustrious audience I had ever performed for!

My show felt amazing and magical. I was floating - and casting as many winning smiles as possible at Bono and the other celebrated audience members (not forgetting of course, zebra print hat man). I sauntered off the stage... straight into the arms of Bono who congratulated me on my performance. Toby, sensing that this was a "one time only" opportunity, asked for a photo.

Somehow the guy with the zebra print hat snuck in there too - pretty amazing Stag-Do for him!!

December 2010

The infamous "Schoolies Week" on the Gold Coast is a chance for teenagers, newly released from school, to get away, let loose and have an amazing time with like-minded people. Replace their sore heads with sore muscles and hangovers with "new ways to hang off poles" and you have the inaugural "Pole-ies Week", held on the Gold Coast in November this year.

100 pole dancers from 20 different pole schools around Australia (including SQPS!) converged on Surfers Paradise for a weekend of pole, acrobatics, pole, aerial skills and more pole with some of the world’s best instructors.

The weekend kicked off with a 7am beach acrobatics workshop. Highlights included having the lifeguard truck drive past and announce “Any pole dancers here? Please raise your hand” through his loud speaker (100 girls promptly threw their hands in the air) and creating the “Wall of Pain” a line of girls stretching off into the horizon, standing high on each other’s hips – while TV crews from Channel 7 and the ABC ran up and down the line filming the most pole dancers they had ever seen in one place. Rather than calling ourselves a "herd", we coined the term a “dazzle” of pole dancers to describe the mass of girls in hotpants doing handstands on the beach.

Straight from the beach into the shower (me thinking: “My god, I can’t teach pole with this much sunscreen on!”) and from there to the workshops. With up to five girls sharing one pole (with 6 hours of pole workshops you really don’t want one all to yourself) the camaraderie was amazing. There was no distinction between what Pole School or State people were from. Everyone spotted, helped and encouraged everyone else. We were one group - a cohesive dazzle!

The night culminated in “Pole Dreams” an Arabian-themed pole dancing spectacular featuring performances by Jenyne Butterfly, Miss Pole Dance QLD and our very own Luxe L’Etoile. Toby and I performed our award-winning “Avatar” routine and then had to walk home after the show via Cavill Avenue (the main street in Surfers) painted blue and wearing nothing but loincloths. Guerrilla pole dancing was popular that night, and we passed genies doing upside-down V’s on street signs and Arabian princesses doing shoulder mounts up trees!

It was an amazing experience, new friends (well we’ve all got something very much in common), everyone learned a lot (and I’m sure could not move their arms at all come Monday morning) and the whole event gave a real sense of belonging to something special – The Australian Pole Dance Community.

I can't wait to be part of the dazzle again next year!

September 2010

After an insane couple of months training for the Asia Pacific Pole Dance Championships (huge thanks to my students who let me spray myself blue in class to "practice") I am currently taking a bit of a break, camping in Kruger National Park, Botswana and Zambia. Thus far we have spotted the official African "Big Five": Elephant, Rhino, Leopard, Buffalo and Lion. As well as our own "Exciting Five": Zebra, Giraffe, Hippo, Warthog (with the accompanying cries of "Oh My God, it's PUMBA! Hakuna Matata my friend!") but as yet no sign of the elusive Meerkat. We have been told to move our tent further from the river in case we get attacked by hippos and have learnt that the signs that say "Trespassers Will Be Eaten" should be taken most seriously!

We took a day-long cultural tour of Musakotwane Village, where the people still follow a very traditional way of life. We were taken shopping at the local markets - a teeming hubub of sights, smells, flies and ramshackle stalls all piled in on top of one another. Children stared and pointed at us (we are very conspicuously the only white people here). We purchase a live chicken, who later becomes lunch. After watching it bleed to death I feel a sudden onset of vegetarianism and I surreptitiously slide the drumstick off my plate and onto Toby's.

We were taught to prepare food "the African way" - no chopping boards here. These women can dice a tomato held in one hand while wielding the knife in the other. I was quick to learn that I make a terrible African woman (and not just because I'm small, very white and really can't cut up anything without a board)... The villagers are horrified that Toby sometimes cooks and cleans. Even when I am "in the house" (its taboo for men to prepare food here, the women are responsible for all the cooking and cleaning - usually with a small child slung over their back). Plus it turns out I'm not so great at carrying water on my head - Toby is actually better at this than me and the onlooking women stare at me with a mixture of pity and disappointment. I felt a bit like I had shamed my sex.

We now have a short break (living with Miss Pole Dance South Africa!) and teaching at a local pole school (Vertical Vixen) before hosting and performing at Johannesburg Sexpo (yup, it's over here too!). I'll be home just in time for Sydney Sexpo and Miss Pole Dance Australia before heading to Surfers for the first ever "Summer Pole Camp" where Toby and I will be teaching "Beach Acro" to over 100 pole dancers from around Australia.

May 2010

I spent the entire month of April 2010 touring the UK and Singapore. I roll off my 30-hour flight/transit and into my first class armed with nothing but hotpants, a cup of tea and a "Nobody Knows I'm a Pole Dancer" Tee (what else does a girl need really!?). For the first three days of my tour I was plagued by jetlag (I didn't sleep at all as I taught Masterclasses in Stevenage, Dublin and Bracknell). Thankfully was plied with tea by my hosts (and students!) and had a ball in all my workshops... Until the volcano I have dubbed "Mount Fukyatravelup" erupted and I was faced with the possibility I had just inadvertently moved to the UK.

Teaching four hour Masterclass workshops every day was hard, girls kept saying "I don't know how you do it" and I'd hide my shaking arms behind my back and think "I'm not sure either..." but at the same time, I couldn't help but be energized by the people and events around me:

I was there for the opening of BodyBarre in Manchester (the owner had even made little "pole dancer" cupcakes – Jelly Babies dancing on Mint Sticks), I was given a haggis by a student in Glasgow (thankfully I read the list of ingredients AFTER I had eaten some), someone else bought me "Irn-Bru" (a classic Scottish hangover cure, I'm pretty sure its cough syrup mixed with sugar), another student brought along some radox when she heard about my shaky arms. I was taken to feed a squirrel in Kensington Gardens (possibly the most exciting moment of my life), ate chicken feet in Singapore (I have learnt to ask first, eat after) and got caught up in a fit of giggles when someone renamed the move I was teaching (the Poisson) the "Mother F****r".

Best part of the whole thing? The students. Their passion, excitement and generosity was inspiring and very, very touching.

Professional pole teacher: Best job in the world.