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Teaching at "Rock The Pole" - Helsinki
Ahhh…
London
. I can now safely attempt to enter the left side of a car without raising the eyebrows of the driver, I am no longer living in a pole studio (ok, that was actually pretty fun) and I need to put on every single item of clothing I have brought with me in order to leave the house.
Suzie’s travel tips #1 Shopping
If you do not speak the local language approach the male assistant/waiter (always the male), smile broadly and “accidentally” drop an English word into your sentence “Je voudrais un café crème please… Oops, s’il vous plait” and smile again. At this point the man will usually exclaim “ah, English” to which you should reply “Oui, je suis Australienne” (another big smile). Failing this you can always point to what you want and say “ca” (“that”). Should you require multiple items, simply sandwich the word “et” (“and”) between each “ca”.
Suzie’s travel tips #2 Local Language
My biggest job in
Paris
(apart from a four-hour pole workshop!) was my shoot for VirtuaGirl (no there’s no ‘L’). Two twelve-hour days of photo shoots and filming in front of a blue screen: on a pole, off a pole, on a table, in front of the table, behind the table in order to secure myself the title of “desktop animation” (now available for download from virtuagirl.com). I was having a ball (they were letting me pretend I was on an escalator to appear/disappear from behind the table) until lunchtime on the second day when I was stung by “un guepe”… some kind of badass French wasp. One minute I was sitting eating lunch, the next I was hopping up and down screaming “Owowowowowow” and clutching at my leg. Now I fully admit I am a sook and a hypochondriac, but this felt like some kind of fiery needle being driven in to my knee. This slowed up production considerably as I was only able to do a couple of minutes at a time, interspersed with a couple of minutes of ice (I’m sure there’s some hilarious footage of me somewhere doing a sexy pole trick, then howling and running off set in the direction of the freezer). My makeup artist took this opportunity to teach me as many colourful French swear words as possible (determined to do my country proud, she is now able to exclaim “wanker” in a perfect Australian accent). Three days, lots of hydrocortisone and antihistamines later it stopped hurting.
Suzie’s travel tips #3 Airport Customs
I loved Finland after Paris, people smiled at me, people talked to me, and when I was on a zebra crossing cars actually stopped for me (as opposed to trying to run me over!). I only had one small crisis upon arrival, I got separated from my pack (ie my fellow flight passengers) as I was distracted by the airport signs and the blatant exoticness of the Finnish language – I never thought you could fit that many of the letter ‘k’ into a single word – I accidentally ended up outside the airport, without my bag and without going through customs! Luckily I found my host (by calling her phone and scanning the arrivals hall for a young pole dancer-esque girl who’s lips were forming the words I was hearing) who explained me back into the baggage claim area. |
My career thus far has had some amazing highlights. I have also endured some seriously unusual… I won’t say regrettable… jobs. There was the time I had to dress as a keg and walk around Parramatta serving beer to people (ok maybe there are a few moments that could be described as regrettable), and yesterday I did some filming with another girl for a tickling fetish website (yes, they exist) whereby we were tied up (fully clothed) and took it in turns to tickle each others feet. 
